Holiday Survival Kit for Moms (Emotional Edition)
Published in Mile High Mamas
https://www.milehighmamas.com/blog/2025/11/13/holiday-survival-kit-for-moms-emotional-edition/
Nothing triggers an adult regression or catapults someone into a web of emotional entanglement quite like the holiday season. Just the thought of a household filled with extended family and in-laws for an extended period of time stirs up a mix of emotions: excitement, dread, nostalgia, love, and fatigue all at once.
There’s the fear that someone will say something inappropriate (intentionally or not, under the influence or not) that will end up wounding another family member.
The guilt associated with having not spent enough time with certain relatives or not having done enough to honor someone this year. (I’ve already had dreams about forgetting to buy a family gift everyone else remembered.)
The gratitude for the chance to gather with loved ones.
The sadness over how rare those gatherings have become.
The stress of managing logistics, expectations, and energy for both this holiday and the next.
And the longing for what has been or could be as we watch children grow too quickly and parents age and become less capable than we’ve before seen.
For many of us, the holidays are both joyful and emotionally loaded. That’s why it can help to equip ourselves with a kind of emotional PPE — personal protective equipment for the psyche. Below are a few strategies that can make this holiday season more manageable and meaningful.
Boundaries Are Not Barriers
Boundaries are hard enough to maintain even under ideal conditions. Add to that a house full of relatives with shared history and too much pumpkin pie, and the whole dynamic becomes even trickier.
Physical and time-based boundaries can help reinforce emotional ones. You can limit the length of your visit, or arrive and leave early for “another commitment.” Step outside for a walk, or take a break in another room when the energy gets too high. These small pauses can be a lifeline.
Recognize and Limit Avoidance Behaviors
When discomfort rises, avoidance often follows, especially in the form of overindulging in food or alcohol. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying what’s on the table, but doing so with intention results in far less guilt and regret the following day. Check in with yourself about what you’re really needing in those moments: comfort, connection, or just a pause.
Make Space for New Traditions
As families grow and shift, traditions evolve too. New marriages, new babies, or even new locations can all change the rhythm of the holidays. Give yourself permission to create space for something new, even at the risk of disappointing others at first. There’s room for everyone, and for new ways of celebrating.
Focus on What You Can Control
It’s easy to slip into comparison: comparison between this year and holidays past, or between your family’s gathering and the ones you see on social media. But the truth is, you can’t control other people’s behaviors or the family dynamic as a whole.
Focus instead on what’s within your control: your reactions, your time, and your mindset. The Serenity Prayer might just be the perfect pre-meal blessing for any family gathering.
Manage Expectations
Yes, the table is often full of good food, but it’s also full of expectations, unspoken tensions, and old wounds. Remember: a family system is highly complex and built over decades. Lowering the bar of perfection with some humor, gratitude, and even forgiveness can go a long way toward preserving peace.
Support Your Mood
While Seasonal Affective Disorder can appear year-round, it’s especially common in the winter months. Even in sunny Colorado, depression rates remain high. Studies have linked higher altitudes with higher incidences of Major Depressive Disorder.
It’s important to maintain healthy routines even with time off in honor of the holiday. Get outside, move your body, nourish yourself well, and stay connected with supportive people and pets. Small, steady acts of care are protective in times of emotional strain.
The holidays can conjure up all the feels: joy and grief, connection and exhaustion. Emotional PPE doesn’t eliminate the challenges, but it can help you navigate them with a little more grace and compassion.
