Summer Survival: Tips to survive and even thrive with your teen this summer

Published by Mile High Mamas

Many of us start summer with high hopes.  The days are longer, pool covers come off, and there’s a carefree vibe as school gets put on hold.  But summer can also present unique parenting challenges for those with high school and college-age kids.  

As our kids continue exploring their identities while craving independence, parents often echo their parents with that familiar phrase: “My house, my rules!”

The same freedom that makes summer magical can also make it messy. All kids need structure—and that’s especially true for teens who are in the midst of transitioning into adulthood. Structure lays the foundation for healthy habits that support emotional and physical well-being. It’s what helps build responsibility, guides good choices, and encourages maturity.  

Yet, after a long academic year and a handful of exhausting finals, you won’t find many young people actively seeking structure.  

Here are a few tips to help parents live in harmony with their burned-out, self-determined, autonomous young adult without losing their cool too often:

1. Collaborate on a Summer Plan

Instead of dictating their summer schedule, involve your teen in formulating a plan for the summer months. Talk about goals, expectations, and responsibilities—from work or volunteer opportunities to family time and personal projects. Giving them a voice increases their buy-in.  And being accountable to a few structured commitments will be beneficial.  

2. Set Consistent Expectations

Whether it’s chores, curfews, or screen time, be clear and consistent. Teens and young adults still need boundaries, even if they push against them. A predictable routine fosters a sense of safety and stability, even if they won’t admit it.  Arguments are inevitable, but setting some expectations upfront can help to minimize disagreements.  And don’t be surprised if your young person has a few expectations of their own.  This is especially true if they’ve been living away from home while at college for the past year. 

3. Encourage Purposeful Downtime

It’s okay for teens to relax, sleep in a little,  lounge in the sunshine, or binge a show—within limits.  We all need to strike a balance between rest and productivity.  Parents can model and encourage hobbies, relaxation, and social healthy connections.

4. Allow for connection to happen naturally 

Invite him/her/they to participate in family fun, but don’t force it.  You know how young kids will tell you the most about their day just as you are putting them to bed at night?  Older kids are often the same way; genuine connection happens on their timeline, so put on your catcher’s mitt and be ready to receive the pitch when it comes your way.

5. Take a quick look in the mirror

Seeing our children grow and change naturally evokes fear.  Did I pass along all the lessons needed to allow my child to make good decisions and ultimately be successful?  What if my child fails?  Be mindful of your desire to control the outcome.  Recognize that your child will inevitably fail.  In fact, they’ll probably fail several times this summer.  Rest assured that you are there to support them through failures, within reason, and while still allowing space for growth and independence.

Summer with teens and young adults home from college doesn’t have to be a battleground. With a bit of structure, some clear communication, and a lot of grace (for everyone involved), you can walk away having made a memory or two.